Dennis, Rue, Kazuo, and John

Gary Coleman took everything I could give. Being a worldwide authority on the topic, I would have to say the Gary Coleman - Dennis Hopper double whammy was probably the biggest since Farrah and Michael did their strange duet last summer. It's been hard for me to shake the sad and bizarre life that Gary made for himself. And the saddest part is that all that will ever come of this is a lame-o TV movie. I wish I had the wherewithal to pull together an epic film on the life of Gary Coleman, but I just don't think there would be much interest.

Dennis Hopper. That's an easy one. For me, his role as Frank Booth in Blue Velvet is all I need. If you haven't seen it, rent the movie. The "Pabst Blue Ribbon" line was something that Thelton and I used to say to each other back in the day. Thelton and I lived in an apartment complex known as "The Gathering." It was quite popular, but never my cup of tea, even though I lived there. We had two other roommates and the chemistry was never terrific. My Datsun was demolished there. Not by an accident. But by a mob of students. I had been away in New York for a good month, and the car was a piece of shit, but it certainly worked. So, I get back from an extended vacation in NY, and the car was all fucked up by who knows who at a wild party. Windows smashed. Car up on the curve. I like to think that perhaps Frank Booth was the ringleader of the festivities.

Rue Mcclanahan. I am somewhat proud to say that this is my second "Golden Girl" in the history of Celebituary. As I recall, of all the Golden Girls, she had the most sex appeal. There were probably some Betty White fans out there (and still are), but for my money Rue was the hottest Golden Girl. Who's with me on that?

Kazuo Ohno. If you don't know him, Google him. My first significant girlfriend, Alyson was a dance major, and through her I developed an interest in modern dance. I was really bummed that I let Merce Cunningham pass me by due to a busy calendar.  So, I really don't have a meaningful Kazuo Ohno memory, but I do have a lot of Florida State Dance Department memories. It was an awesome scene. And, one that I regret I never got more involved in. Maybe one of my kids will be a dance major. But, Kaz, Merce...here's to you.

And last but certainly not least, ...John Wooden. Well there is some substance, huh. See for me, it's pretty straightforward. John Wooden was always this old guy sitting in the stands. And the announcers would speak of him in glowing terms. So, in other words, my entire frame of reference with John W. revolves around his legendary status. I never saw the man coach. I never watched him in a post game interview. I never  saw him in the background pacing the sidelines while the Bruins played.

For all I know, everyone could be making it all up.

Of course, they aren't. But all I am saying is that I only know stories of his greatness. Now, contrast that with Yogi Berra, who has been more or less retired throughout my conscious lifetime. He's not just this guy in the stands. He's vital. No disrespect, Wooden.