J.D. Salinger and Zelda Rubinstein

How could you? How could you link the author of an American classic, with a character actor?

My blog. My rules.

Truth is, we're all equal in death and I'm sure Mr. Salinger would be the first to acknowledge that you could do a lot worse.

I read 'Catcher in the Rye' like everyone else, and frankly, it was so spot on, I actually wondered "what's the big deal? Isn't that how we all feel?" The alienation. The confusion. The fear, really. The fear of growing up.

My brother Jim, who was eleven years older than me always used to tell me, "I just think of you as a kid. I think of you as someone who goes to the arcade and plays video games."

I still am that kid. I'm still this young boy who just happens to have five kids of his own. A big kid with a big family. OK, sure it feels good to make the mortgage payment. And unclog the sink. And shovel the driveway. But, in general, being a grown up sucks.

Because you're just a little bit closer to dying.

Enter Zelda Rubinstein. She spoke to the dead, ya know. I saw her do it at an old movie theater in Kingston, NY, where Poltergeist played.

The thing about that movie...one of its central movements was about television stations going off the air, which is kind of a quaint idea in this day and age.

Of course now we know that TV stations don't stop. They just go and go. They do not sleep. They do not die.

But the Poltergeist TV did go off the air. And when it did, the ghosts came to visit. And dammit, if they didn't go and take young Carol Anne. So, long story short, they bring in Tangina (played by Ms. Rubinstein) and she gets to the bottom of all the nonsense, speaks the the dead, and ends up saving young Carol Anne. By the way, you gotta love the Kim Jong il shades Tangina wears in the flick.

The real Carol Anne, actress Heather O' Rourke, never made it through adolescence. She died at twelve, slightly younger than Holden Caulfied, the protagonist from 'Catcher in the Rye.'

So, there you have it. I have successfully linked J.D. and Zelda. But, in reality, it's all a sham. Crazy talk, really. So, while we're talking crazy, I'm thinking about the whole Phoebe bit of Catcher, and I am reimagining Phoebe as the young Carol Anne from Poltergeist.

"You can't even think of one thing."
"Yes I can Yes I can."
"Well do it, then."
"I like Allie," I said. "And I like doing what I'm doing right now. Sitting here with you, and talking, and thinking about stuff and-"
"Allie's dead-You always say that! If somebody's dead and everthing, and in Heaven, then it isn't really-"
"I know he's dead!" Don't you think I know that? I can still like him though, can't I? Just because somebody's dead, you don't just stop liking them, for God's sake-especially if they were about a thousand time's nicer than the people you know that're alive and all."
Old Carol Anne didn't say anything. When she can't think of anything to say, she doesn't say a goddam word."

Pernell Roberts

"Charles, what's up with the Trapper John picture? Why no Bonanza?"

Well for me, I grew up with Trapper John, MD and not with Bonanza, so there you have it. I was never a big Western fan, anyhow.

It's all so fuzzy for me. I want to say that Trapper John aired on Sunday nights, and I remember enjoying it, but it doesn't stir up any profound memories. I kind of sort of remember trying to wrap my head around the fact that Pernell Roberts was playing the Trapper John "character," which most of us knew belonged to Wayne Rogers. I remember wondering why they just didn't use the "real" Trapper John from M*A*S*H.

Jeron Lewis

Sometimes these things just rip your heart out. I know what some of you may think about this blog. It's just a joke. And, you know what, sometimes it is. Soupy Sales? That's what he would have wanted, ya know?

But this basketball kid? My heart goes out to him. Just a fluke play and now he's gone. The fact that he just had a baby makes the whole thing sadder.

I would send you the link, but I don't do that anymore.

It's just sad and senseless and there's nothing funny or ironic about it.

Teddy Pendergrass

And wouldn't you know it? A two-fer. The night I decide to get back in the game, the Gods of popular music give me two very different artists with very different stories.

I remember the Teddy Pendergrass car accident news reports. And that was all I knew of him. That, and the Eddie Murphy, "you got, you got, you got what I need" bit. "Throw your panties on the stage."Yes, I would absolutely love to link to that -- but Dammit, I ain't going there. No links. No links, I tell you.

I wasn't much of a fan of his music, but his death has inspired me to go out and snatch up some of his recordings. Which essentially means in 2010 opening a new tab in my browser and going to that Russian site (no link) and buying a song or two for 9 cents a track.

The only other thing I have to say about Teddy is that he definitely had the "black GI Joe" look down cold. So, in an odd way, I had a Teddy Pendergrass doll when I was a kid. RIP, Teddy.

Jay Reatard

I'm trying to get back into this. Bear with me. Ultimately the format caught up with me. I take a lot of pride in what I do, and each entry took well over two hours, sometimes I would curate this stuff over the course of an entire weekend. So I backed off. There were so many I wanted to do. The German Goalkeeper. The Johnson heir. That actress in her thirties. What was her name? Oh, and Chris Henry. I sat on the sidelines through it all.The funny thing is, my wife went to a Martha Stewart taping today. The topic? Blogs. And I thought to myself, I used to do that...I used to do that.

I know one thing is for sure. I am definitely killing the links. To hell with it. My blog. My rules. No more linking out. Besides, links,...um...expire.

Jay Reatard. What a name. I had been meaning to listen to more of his stuff, and well, this is really quite the perfect excuse. Bill, the guy in the office next to mine was a big fan. I bet we'll talk about it tomorrow...er..today.

There is this massive catastrophe in Haiti, and what am I writing about? Jay Reatard. He's pretty good and quite prolific. Google him. Cos you ain't gettin' no God Damn links from me! Jay would have liked that. He had that FU type of attitude. And look where it got him. Rock on, reatard.