Corey Haim

Corey Haim is pretty much who Celebituary was invented for. So, let's take a moment and reflect on one of the "Two Corey's" for a moment.

For starters, I am beginning to realize how out-of-touch I am with pop culture these days, and this is not a good thing. Growing up, I couldn't have been more plugged in to the relatively small universe. MTV made it easy. There was no reality programming to speak of. The "Big Three" networks were well defined. Everybody had the Farrah Fawcett poster. Etc.

I say all this, because the fact that there was even a show known as "The Two Corey's" on A&E completely escaped me. So now I am worried that I am missing out on all sorts of has-been celebrity entertainment. For some reason, "Celebrity Fit Club" is not one of them. You know how some shows just seem to find you, no matter where you are or what you are doing? I have that thing going with Celebrity Fit Club 7, where it always just seems to be in my face. But, see, I don't even KNOW all of those so-called "celebrities. I mean there's K-Fed and Bobby Brown, and Sebastian Bach. But, some of these people, I don't know 'em, which is bad, because then I can't honor them as I might like to. Gotta watch more TV, I guess.

You want to know how much pop culture there is? To wit, Corey Haim was voted 8th -- that's right 8th -- favorite Canadian on a TV series for his work in "The Two Corey's."

But, why worry about the present, when there is the more idealistic past to dwell on. For me and Corey it pretty much starts and ends with "The Lost Boys." I gotta believe I saw "License to Drive," but it doesn't resonate with me whatsoever. But Lost Boys, wow. For starters, I never knew why that song, "Cry Little Sister" was not a hit -- maybe it was too soundtracky. But, I put the Lost Boys soundtrack right up there with "Pretty in Pink," it's got some great moments.

I saw this movie with some odd configuration of high school friends at The Cordova Mall in Pensacola, FL. I think Ed was probably there. Ed? For some reason, I think Maria Yeo was there. I even think Paige Vance was there. It was in the "new" theater at Cordova Mall, where I also saw Dirty Dancing. Lost Boys was remarkable in that it was the first Rated R movie that I could remember going to with a group of friends with 100% legal compliance. We were all legit "adults" going to see an "adult" film and boy did it feel good!

I worked at Cordova Mall at the time. I worked at Morrison's Cafeteria slinging vegetables for a miserable alcoholic boss who fired me, no lie, for attending a debate tournament instead of working the Saturday lunch shift. The fucker.

So Corey Haim? He played the role well. And the hair? It was the perfect late eighties quaff. The whole movie was great and I'm glad I had the privilege of seeing it in its original glory.

So I watched the whole "molested" conversation between the two Corey's and the whole thing is just sad and pathetic. When you add in the Michael Jackson component, it just gets stranger and even more ironic.

One other sad and pathetic point. Corey Haim is well acknowledged as a "has-been" and he is two years younger than me. Hmmmm....