Malcom Mclaren

Not often that I bang out two Celebituaries in a day, at least lately, and truth be told, I really don't have the time. I have three deadlines and taxes to finish up, no less. So what the hell, Charles? What the hell?

But Malcom Mclaren certainly deserves this. When you launch the Sex Pistols and had such an influence on music and fashion, shouldn't you get a same-day obit?

OK, so I have justified the need. But what does Malcom mean to me? It's funny. I missed the whole first wave of punk. I was 6 and just a tad too young to be down with the program. So all of the Pistols' shenanigans were missed by me. I certainly got around to it and found their limited canon very compelling, indeed. I remember this punk rock girl, Lilly, who I met at Junior Achievement in 10th grade and she turned me on to the whole scene. So that's pretty much that for the Sex Pistols.

Here's the thing with me and Malcom.

I used to spend summers in Kingston, New York at my grandmother's home. And, I remember the summer of '82 being a time for me when I was just getting into music. One day, while switching channels, I caught the last manic 30 seconds or so of "Buffalo Gals" by Mclaren. I was blown away. There seem to be a few songs from that time, "Genius of Love" and "Rapture" were a couple others that were all about white people wrapping their heads around early rap music. So, this song is a bizarre Square Dancing urban thing -- and for me, it just worked. I still play it when DJing -- and it's just a lot of fun.

So, for me, while I can appreciate the Sex Pistols -- very much so -- I am all about the Buffalo Gals. Thank you so much, Malcom. "All that scratchin' is making me itch."

Christopher Cazenove

This was just too good to pass up. Christopher Cazenove played Ben Carrington in the sixth season of Dynasty. Frankly, I had no idea the show lasted that long. In fact, it carried on another three seasons even after Ben Carrington! Here's the skinny on Ben Carrington straight from Wikipedia -- formatting and all:

Alexis Colby finds Blake's vengeful brother Ben in Australia, and brings him back to cause trouble for her ex-husband. Blake blames Ben for their mother's death; Ben was supposed to be caring for her, but instead left her alone. Ben and Alexis manage to bring Blake to his knees before Blake turns the tables on them; Ben eventually reconciles with Blake, and with his estranged daughter Leslie. It is also revealed that Ben had an affair with Emily Fallmont, and that Clay Fallmont may be his son. This is never proven for sure, and Ben ultimately leaves town.

So, this is classic "life imitating art imitating life," stuff. I think I have already said my peace about Dynasty. For those that follow this kind of stuff, the Death Watch stock on people like Joan Collins is through the roof.

I know I have said this before, but it's guys like Chris that really make Celebituary what it is. I'm not sure what that something is, but no doubt Blake and Ben Carrington are putting together a deal to blow this blog up big time, what with all their international business goings-on.

John Forsythe

You know what? I had been waiting for this. After Robert Culp, I was really in the mood to bang out a celebituary, but nothing came through. I could list all the famous or semi-famous people out there who passed in the last week. David Mills, Kendall Berry, Dan Duncan. There are many more.

John Forsythe is a celebrity, however. For God's Sakes, we're talking about Blake Carrington!

I was a big Dynasty fan. I think it was on Wednesday night. I'm sure I could look it up and find out for sure, but just play along with me. 

Blake Carrington was the man. One of the first "man" I ever knew. Maybe it was the two MILFs hanging around him in the publicity picture. Maybe it was the well established fact that Blake owned everything. I just know that he was a big deal, and I respected that.

So, while I have your attention, I should tell you my long term plans for this blog. I truly believe that this evening little boys and little girls all over America should be watching back-to-back-to-back Dynasty episodes. As soon as one of htese celebrities kicks it, there needs to be a pace you can go and relish the career that was. Not just a 30 second time filler. Y'all should receive a master class in John Forsythe. Or, you should at least have the opportunity to do so. 

So, that is the vision, and to a degree it is coming true. Hold on. Lemme go get a Dynasty link.

 Oh, here's one. The ever-popular "Blake rapes Krystal" scene. I can't make this shit up.

Robert Culp

I don't mind saying that I am really struggling with this one. I think we all know Robert Culp. He's been in so many things and he is so much of a part of the small screen, you can't really pin him down to anything in particular. The popular obituary press really makes a big deal about I Spy. But I never really saw that show. I did watch Greatest American Hero quite a bit, but I don't have any specific recollections of Mr. Culp per se.

So, what do you do when your entire blog is about personal relevance, and there's nothing in particular that really moves you about the individual? You make something up.

I met Robert Culp while I was in college. Robert was in LA filming "Perry Mason:  The Case of the Defiant Daughter." He was blitzed out of his mind at a bar right around the corner from the studio. At the time, "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips was a huge hit. I remember Robert sang the Carnie Wilson part, I sang the Chyna Phillips part, and Ray Burr came rolling in -- which is really weird because "Ironside" had long since been canceled -- and he sang the Wendy Wilson part. It was a real hoot. Then, Robert puked all over himself, and things sort of wound down from there.

I think we'll all miss Robert. I certainly know I will, although my memories of him are a bit hazy. Best of luck to you Robert in your new role.

What do you want from me? It's Friday.

Alex Chilton

First off, thanks Charles for letting me contribute here again.

Wow. Alex Chilton, a talented songwriter, musician, sub-genre progenitor and cult hero, is gone. You’ve heard and enjoyed his music (or his influence at least), I guarantee it. In his teens, he was in the Box Tops, with huge hit The Letter.

Later, over the course of a handful of years, his band Big Star created some of the most memorable, inspirational power pop ever recorded. Not inspirational in the can-I-get-an-Amen way, but a sound that musicians loved and copied to no end. Big Star helped shape music from the ‘70s right through the ‘90s. Cheap Trick. REM. Jeff Buckley. Beck. Wilco. Ryan Adams and Whiskeytown. They, and who knows how many others, followed Alex’s blueprint of honest lyrics and lush arrangements.

He wrote In the Street, which was used as the theme song to That '70s Show. Big Star's first three albums were all named to Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Albums of All Time. If Rolling Stone meant anything anymore, this would really mean something.

So it's not accurate to say he was under appreciated, because he was appreciated by plenty. It's just that after the Box Tops, he never had huge commercial success (by P. Diddy standards). But Alex Chilton and Big Star were essential in furthering the cause for beautifully humble, intelligent rock and roll. Heartfelt, without taking themselves too seriously, despite the band’s name and the title of their first album, #1 Record.

Truly wonderful stuff. Here, give September Gurls a listen (yeah, the Bangles covered it).

The Replacements honored him on their 1987 album Pleased To Meet Me in a song called, coincidentally, Alex Chilton. So while I never saw Big Star or Alex perform live, I did have the opportunity to see the Replacements open for Tom Petty at Lake Compounce, an amusement park in Bristol, CT in 1990. It was near the end of the Replacements existence and also the last time I was at the park. For that matter, I haven’t really seen the two friends I went to the show with either in a long, long time. Avery Woron, Keith Siglinger – you guys out there?

The suspected cause of Alex’s death was a heart attack. He hadn’t been feeling well, but by the time he made it to the hospital, it was too late. He was only 59. That's just tragic.

Since no one here is getting any younger and in an effort to make an effort, why not take a second to make sure your heart is in good shape?

Peter Graves

Peter Graves is another one who was tailor made for Celebituary. There's the camp seventies / eighties thing. There's his name. And, of course, the whole Captain Over persona, an even more ironic name, eh?

So, looking at this picture here, it really does make you wonder...why do we laugh at Captain Over and "Jimmy," while we cringe at Michael Jackson and his young friend? I suppose it's as simple as fiction vs. fact -- or alleged fact. Either way, I'm just not sure a movie like Airplane gets made in this day and age, or certainly, if it does, I'm not sure it has the same mass appeal.

I am proud to say I saw Airplane in the theater and laughed my ass off. Can't remember who I went with, but it was great and I'm pretty sure I went back. This was a PG movie before there was such a thing as PG-13 -- it was probably one of the reasons PG-13 came to be.

So, anyhow, Peter Graves. I really think it begins and ends with Airplane. Why really bother ourselves with anything else? To that point, I am going to break my own rule and add a video to this post.

So, without further ado, I give you the original Airplane Trailer. There was something much better a couple days ago. 10 minutes of nothing but Captain Over. But I guess it got pulled.

Original Airplane Trailer

Merlin Olson. It was always good to have a true Norsman on the sports page every week. He was sort of the large Scandinavian uncle I never had. My frame of reference aren't the popular ones -- which makes this more special.

My Merin Olsen wasn't really a lineman (pre-dated me). Nor was he Father Dowling. Shows like "Little House" were for girls. My Merlin was the sporetscaster who got pulled in for all the big time games. If Merlin was on a game, you know it was a big deal. Stoic. Detached. Able to throw on a helmet at a moment's notice and whup some ass. That was my Merlin.

It's funny. People in the public eye morph into so many roles and personas over the years, it really does feel like we live multiple lives. For Merlin, there were the three public lives that we know so well (player, sportscaster, actor), but you wonder about his less public existence.What were his middle school years like? How has the last year been?

Celebrities like Merlin are by subscription only. You get the public stuff free, but you need much better access to receive unlimited Merlin.

Merlin appeared to be a good man and certainly played some endearing roles. For my money,the one I will miss the most was his sportscaster.