Fred Travalena

How does one begin to eulogize a person who was as many people as Fred Travalena? And since he was a master impressionist, did we really ever know who he was? He even has at least three nicknames: Mr. Everybody, The Man of a Thousand Faces, and the Man of a Thousand Voices.

My first memory of Mr. Everybody with a Thousand Voices and Faces is seeing him on a game show. Which one, I'm not sure, but I do know it wasn't his 1993 show Baby Races. And it probably wasn't Anything for Money. Or maybe it was. Did you know Kirstie Alley was on Password Plus? So was Travalena. But in a twist of fate, he was also in a short-lived show with Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal called Good Sports (scrub to 2:04). So, as they're probably saying by now, there's pretty much a verifiable death curse for being on this show. Watch out, Brian Doyle-Murray.

Ready for double eerie? Here's Travalena with Ed McMahon's wife.

But I digress. Fred Travalina loved pets. It's hard to concentrate when I've got so much going on in my head. Here's how Travalena kept track of everything.

OK, OK, I have to admit that I'm not sure what my real memory is of the guy, but I remember him vaguely, very very fondly. And truth is, I hate impersonators pretty much across the board. Even Rich Little. And Joe Piscopo if you count him. But with the passing earlier this year of Danny Gans, we can't really afford to lose anyone else. In this economy, it might be worth taking up the hobby yourself.

Evidently (as of Monday night, 6/29/08) you can still book him for events. Things might get interesting.

And I just remembered Frank Caliendo and Dana Carvey, so I take it all back. There are plenty of impersonators out there, but none that could do Fred Travalena as well as the man himself.

Billy Mays

[celebrity written and generously donated by one, Julie Palmer -- thanks Julie!]

Oh-so-obnoxious on those commercials, wasn't he? But I have to say, morbid curiosity and my sweetheart's interest in inventing and inventors led us to start watching his new show, Pitchmen, on the Discovery Channel.

In spite of my negative pre-conceived notions, I found myself strangely drawn to this man. First of all, he had an incredible joie de vivre...loved the job he'd created for himself, loved his family, loved to use informercials to help the little guy get a leg up in life.

Initially, I saw him as a glorified carny barker or a huckster...willing to hawk any product whose inventor could pay his fee. But I was surprised to see that the man had character and integrity. He demanded that the product would benefit the masses by solving a problem in a "wow" kind of way, and he also insisted that it could do so for a reasonable price. I was shocked to watch him—on more than one episode—try to convince inventors that they needed to reduce their prices enough to give their product mass appeal. And he genuinely seemed pretty picky about what he put his name behind.

Much to my surprise, I never watched his show without being highly entertained. He had a great sense of humor and there was always something fun going on between him and Anthony Sullivan.

So, from this reluctant positive impression has evolved a sense of loss the last couple of days. He wasn't some freaky celebrity who will have people swooning and lined up for the opportunity to participate in some memorial to something positive he did decades ago. This man was just trying to do something good for his clients and the general consumer population...make a positive contribution all while making a good living for himself and his family. Isn't that the epitome of the opportunity the free enterprise system is supposed to provide?

Yep...I'm sad...

[note from Marrelli: in supplying a couple hyperlinks to this article, I came across the genre of "infomercial dubs." I enjoy these in particular because one of my favorite activities when I am with the kids watching TV is to turn down the sound and watch infomercials. Of course, how was I to know that there is a whole art form around this.]

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson's death will probably go down as one of those "I remember EXACTLY what I was doing" events. In this case, I was working on an RFP, trying to beat a 5 PM deadline. I received a text message from my good friend, Cloud, and I have to admit, I really felt it. Not really sadness so much as a "Holy Shit!" wave that came over me.

This is actually the 2nd time I thought he was dead. The first time was the popular 90's techno track, "Michael Jackson is in Heaven Now." I was in college and in all likelihood stoned, and I remember hearing that voiceover and really being shaken by the audacity of it. Anybody with me on this one? It sounded real at the time.

I, like many of you, am well qualified to riff on Michael Jackson as he was a big part of my mediated (not medicated) experience from my very early days. I remember the cartoon when I was 4, back when cartoons were a once a week treat. I remember the duet with Roberta Flack from "Free to be You and Me." That was always my favorite song in the whole video. Later in life, I bought the CD and was sad to see that the song was on there, but the King of Pop was not.

I remember the famous Motown 25 moonwalk. I happened to catch it live the first time it aired and it really was flabbergasting to see. I remember what a big deal the Eddie Van Halen solo was on Beat It. Talk about Crossover appeal! I remember the Thriller jacket that every boy in 8th grade seemed to have. Who knows? Maybe it will make a comeback now.

I remember the day BAD came out. I was at my favorite record store, The Music Box in Pensacola, FL, and the owner, Daryll put it on. I specifically remember Daryll dancing badly to the song BAD. That's sort of all I remember from that day.

After that, MJ sort of fell off the radar for me. Then there was "Black or White,"' with God-awful performances from Macaulay Culkin and George Wendt. It was at this point there was the sudden realization by all that Mike's transformation had started to go too far.

And somewhere in that time frame, I became an amateur DJ. The one sure fire song that to this day makes everybody dance is "Don't Stop til you Get Enough." It's probably one of my ten favorite songs. Really. I consider this to probably be the ultimate roller skating song.

But, then things just got too weird for all of us. The whole "Living with Michael" Interview was unquestionably one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. But, then he went and matched it with the whole nose photo. And somewhere around this time, I also experienced the Koons sculpture which also made me feel all icky. And, then even the Eastern European irrational adoration made me somehow uncomfortable.

But despite all this, "Don't Stop..." continued to slay the house. I even would play it at elementary school dances and nobody seemed to mind. That's the thing with Michael Jackson. There are so many of him. And some of them are OK. And some are not OK.

One of my prevalent thoughts over the past few years was that the Michael Jackson spectacle was going to get even more bizarre over the coming years. I wondered about 60 year old Michael, and even 80 year old Michael, and what more could possibly happen.

But now I am at ease, as the story is pretty much over. Sure, there will be some controversy and investigation, and many many many Larry King Live shows dedicated to this. By the way, not only did he flat out bump all the Farrah guests tonight. He TOLD everybody that bumped Farrah because of Michael. No need for that, really.

But, the truth is that nobody is bigger than Michael Jackson. I've given this some thought. Paul McCartney? I don't think so. As an aside, the run out on "The Girl is Mine," one of the worst songs ever, is very embarrassing.

Maybe Obama is bigger. Just Maybe.

Sky Saxon

It's fair to say that Farrah's death has been completely marginalized by the demise of the King of Pop. But, you know what? It could be worse. You could be Sky Saxon, lead singer of "The Seeds," who also died today.

I confess that I really don't have any memories of this man, but I do vaguely remember their 1967 Top 40 hit, "Pushin' Too Hard." The video has bonus footage of the great radio personality and Dennis Kucinich supporter, Casey Kasem who, by the way, is very much alive.

Sky, you are no Michael Jackson. But, I just wanted to give you a little love and shine a spotlight on you during this eventful day of June 25.

Farrah Fawcett

New approach.

The real chore, and arguably the real value, of this blog is all the juicy pointers to things you might not know about the recently deceased celebrity. So, here's my new deal. I'll crank out my thoughts and impressions first and then circle back to the hyperlinks later.

I do worry that I only get one chance to entertain and enlighten you, the audience and you really won't go back, but, hey, on days when I am busy, I still get credit for flagging the death, which I do think is important if I am going to be a credible news source.

So, Farrah Fawcett died of anal cancer, which is most certainly different than colon cancer. I have not confirmed sources, but I think she lived a little longer than most had expected and a couple days too long to fill that massive void that Mr. McMahon stepped into. But such is death.

See, this is one where I have a very specific POV. Farrah actually was instrumental in a number of self-realizations from my early childhood. The first of which was that I prefer brunettes to blondes. Farrah was my least favorite angel. I went back and forth between Jaclyn and Kate, but I think I liked Kate the best which led me to self-realization #2. I am a huge fan of the underdog. Like Michael Jordan and Roger Staubach, Farrah Fawcett was someone who I could actually "root against." I enjoyed telling all the lemming boys I went to school with that Kate was my favorite, which is part of self-realization #3, I am the ultimate contrarian.

While we are on the topic of realizations, Farrah Fawcett was instrumental in my understanding of the fact that celebrities had to make hard choices with regard to assuming new married names. For me, Farrah Fawcett Majors never quite sounded right and I could never get my head around it. Same thing with Chris Evert-Lloyd. It also sort of made you even more jealous of the lucky guy who was responsible for the name hijacking. In the case of Ms. Fawcett, it was Lee Majors, known to all as Steve Austin, a man barely alive.

So, that's reaching way back, and that is what I think about when I think about Farrah Fawcett. That and the poster above. I didn't have it, but I sure did have a lot of friends who did. That poster is iconic, no question.

OK, links to follow, but I have spoken from the heart, and that is the better part of the story.

Love,

Charlie

Ed McMahon

I have to say, for somebody who follows this stuff, the past two weeks have been as quiet as I can remember. Ever since the still simmering Carradine story, which was no doubt ironic and spectacular, the celebrity death train has crawled to a standstill. I mean, when Mia Farrow's brother is as good as it gets, well, you know it's slower than the economic recovery. I'll go out on a limb here and say that we will likely never see a two week span as quiet as this. I founded Celebituary as a growth business, and I really do believe that the numbers are on my side here, but only time will tell, home viewers, ...only time will tell.

While we are talking about dearth, ...not death, but dearth, I have to say that that the whole slowdown really played into Mr. Mcmahon's hands. Not that he was gunning for a cherry on top of his decorated career. I'm just saying that when you are the ultimate sidekick, another fifteen minutes ain't a bad way to go. I'm not sure why I'm so callous this morning. But here's my point. Dom Deluise was really a blip on the radar, but it all had to do with relative competition. Dom was sandwiched in between Jack Kemp and Chuck Daily. For McMahon, being the sort of comedian he was, timing was everything.

Well, for me, McMahon was all about Star Search. That was really his first lead role, when he stepped into the spotlight. Now, granted, he had to share the spotlight with contestants like the up and coming Justin Timberlake, but make no mistake, Star Search was Ed's show. Here is something that was not his show. Although everyone thinks he did, Ed McMahon did NOT star in Publisher's Clearing House commercials. It was American Family. And believe you me, the PCH people will be more than happy to tell you as much.

Then there's the whole alcoholic thing, which dogged him his whole career. And, finally Ed became a rapper for Freecreditreport.com with that refreshing "see...it can happen to anyone" theme. Speaking of happening to anyone, Ed McMahon died in his sleep, which is not a bad way to go.

Phil Hartman -- who died in a far more spectacular fashhion -- why don't you take us on home?

Patrick Farrow

Is it appropriate for the brother of a celebrity to get a spot on this blog? Maybe so, maybe no. But then maybe it’s moderately fitting that you’re also getting a guest blogger on this go around.

Patrick Farrow, apparently known in his own right as a sculptor, gallery owner and resident of Castleton, VT (pop. 4,000), was the brother of actress Mia Farrow. He died this week of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. There are a lot of people who are going to miss him. Those are some of the simple facts. 

But the loss doesn’t end there, because there are things he’s going to miss out on too --

• The 2^nd annual Greater Castleton Area Yard Sale (space still available!) 
  
• Lewis Franco & the Missing Cats
  
• My favorite part of the day
  
• Seeing his sister under the direction of Luc Besson in the upcoming Arthur et la vengeance de Maltazard
  
• 2010-2037
  

To wrap it up, I’m not one to judge this sort of thing. Suicide is the ultimate personal preference – Patrick called the shots right up til the end. That doesn’t mean we can’t take something away from this. And that lesson can be summed up by Patrick’s statement on his gallery’s website “one’s art is the sum total of one’s life,” and once you’re gone there ain’t no more art you’re making. So if there’s something any of us want to say, something important we want to do, we better do it today. Or if you’re super busy, by early next week at the latest.

Norman Brinker

I continue to wrestle with the discretionary rules associated with who makes Celebituary and who doesn't. In this case, I have a very personal reason for shinning a bit of light on one Norman Brinker, famous American restauranteur. My blog, my rules.

Among other things, I have spent the last eight months of my life advocating a new solution that eliminates the need for patrons to wait to be seated at restaurants, or anywhere for that matter. The solution is called QLess, and it is quite ingeneous really. It works by using patrons' own cell phones as pagers, thus giving customers limitless room to roam. But more so, by changing the perception of what a "wait" is in the first place, it raises the tendency for a customer to wait in the first place, which ultimately means reduced turnaways, more seated customers, and higher revenues per store. Or so goes my sales pitch. It's a proposition that the man who played a role inventing the salad bar would find highly compelling. Well, not that we would have met with old Norman anyhow, as he abdicated his throne a while back. But, believe you me, I know the name "Brinker," and the word flew off the page of recent deaths list in a way that Hugh Hopper or Kenny Rankin couldn't even come close.

Now, the problem with somebody like Brinker is the part where I tell y'all something you might not know is somewhat irrelevant as you probably don't know of him anyhow, unless you live in Texas or are in the restaurant business. But, anyway...he founded the famous, but recently closed Steak and Ale, he loved polo, and actor Mark Harmon depicted him in a 1978 movie entitled "Little Mo" about his first wife, Maureen Connolly.

David Carradine

When I launched this blog, I used to get all worked up about being timely...about somehow scooping the popular press. But, then I started to realize that it isn't about being newsworthy. It's about reflection and perspective. I can almost hear the Blind Master Po saying "Patience, Grasshopper." "Patience."

But I can wait no longer. The investigation will take weeks, and besides, none of it changes the fact that Mr. Carradine is in fact, dead.

One of the bits lost in all this is the fact that Shih Kien died at almost exactly the same time. Who's that? Well, he's probably the all time #1 Kung Fu movie heel, probably best known for playing the evil "Han" in "Enter the Dragon." And everybody knows who starred in that. Yes, one Bruce Lee, who was slotted to star in the Kung Fu pilot, but a bunch of suits pulled the plug because he was "too Chinese." So, they gave the gig to Mr. Carradine and the rest is history.

Along with Steve Austin and David Banner, Kwai Chang Caine was one of my first TV heroes. At first, I just couldn't wrap my head around the whole "hair / no hair" thing that kept happening.

Here's what I think should happen when a cult hero passes. There should be a TV (or Web TV) channel that goes into marathon mode, showing everything that performer has done. Perhaps this will be a spin off of "celebituary," but don't hold your breath. In fact, in my extensive Carradine research, I came across a competitor of sorts, obit. Truth be told, something like this was what I originally had in mind, with flower and life insurance advertisers, and all that.

Back to David Carradine. It was really the Kill Bill role that ratcheted him up a notch, IMHO. Matter of fact, his death scene from KB2 was the last time I saw him alive. But the last time he was captured, short of the film he was working on, is this quirky little interview about his favorite musical instruments. Here's a little thing on his first experience as a filmmaker, called "Americana."But, he will be always remembered as Caine, as Bill, ...and now for this strange set of circumstances associated with his demise.

Either way, it is perhaps one of the most irony-laden deaths of all time. One his last films was "My Suicide," and the film he was in Taiwan to work on? "Stretch."

Koko Taylor

I don't think that anyone would have ever imagined that the great Koko Taylor would essentially serve as the opening act for the increasingly bizarre David Carradine story, but such is death.


Since Jay Bennett (um...hello, two quasi-Chicago music artists in a row), lets face it, things have been slow...strangely slow. Mrs. Taylor's death, from surgery complications, has returned the balance to the force, as it were. That's not to say that nothing has happened, as the often referenced Wikipedia Deaths List attests. It's just that for well over a week, nobody with much American pop appeal passed away.

Until Koko Taylor.

OK, I'll be the first to say that the Blues is not my thing. I just find the sameness tiresome. But, I have to give much love and respect for the Queen of Chicago Blues. I mean, when you can reportedly "make love to a crocodile," that's worth something.

Speaking of crocodiles, Mrs. Taylor's label for many years was Aligator. She was a well-documented tax evader. Then there's this beautifully shot music video for "Wang Dang Doodle." Check out the guy at 1:48 of the video who is doing...well...nothing at all. I really work hard on these entries, folks.