Soupy Sales

So, I am trying to get back in the game here. It's 5 AM on Sunday morning, and Soupy Sales is obvious fodder to make it happen. Getting Lou Albano up was positively cathartic, and had to be done BEFORE I could touch "Milton Soupman."

There's a lot of things my recent spate of work has affected. I've had a little less time for soccer coaching. And domestic repairs and chores? Well, they're always a challenge, even on a slow day. Once I get busy and traveling, other aspects of my life start to fall apart. I truly long for a simple life, but living in the go-go northeast with five kids and a large mortgage, I can't have one. My therapist tells me that I have too many interests, too many distractions. Pick ONE thing, he says. To me, that's like watching one channel all night. And, I was never very good at watching one channel.

When I was in third grade, a direct mail piece showed up at our house, informing my family that CABLE TELEVISION was available in our area. I was so tickled about this news that I brought the brochure into school with me. My teacher, a sweet older woman named Jewell Smith, mistakenly believed that I was hawking Cox cable and told me she wasn't interested. Truth was, for me, it was just this bizarre show and tell thing. Cable TV is coming! Cable TV is coming! And with it, came The Chicago Cubs and HBO movies, and wrestling from Georgia, oh, and ... Soupy Sales.

My family all knew about Soupy Sales, the "pie-in-the-face" guy. He had a show in the late seventies that was supposed to re-ignite his career , and that is pretty much how I ran into Soupy. Truth be told, the show wasn't all that great and I probably watched a handful of episodes, if that. I really don't else to say about him. But, there's always the Web, far cooler than cable TV, to help me out.

For starters, the Alice Cooper episode seems to get a lot of play. His old stuff is positively weird. Four Soupy, off-camera was probably more important than on, which is kind of a nice way to engage folks. The Stripper gag is legendary and really remarkable for its time. Pull a gag like that in this day and age, and there's a national scandal. He was a frequent guest on the great celebrity recycling bin known as Match Game. And here's a neato factoid I completely missed. Soupy's sons Hunt and Tony were a part of that bullshit David Bowie "band," Tin Machine that released not one, but two, almost un-listenable albums.

And, stopping with Soup's progeny is probably a good enough way to end this bloated, overdone post. Now, back to work.

Captain Lou Albano

I'll be the first one to admit that I have let you down. That I am out of shape. Lazy. Lame. Just like Captain Lou Albano. Heh Heh.

Let's face facts. The celebrity death business ain't what it used to be. It has been slow. Really, Really, Slow...

I swear. Every single day I check the obituaries, and every single day there really isn't all that much of interest. And, gosh, short of Patrick Swayze, this has been going on for well over two months.

So you might think I would be all over the Lou Albano thing. Well, it kind of caught me on a rather busy week. See, I started this blog during a relatively slow time in my career, and (Thank God) things have picked up, so I am not exactly sitting around downloading music all day long.

Captain Lou, like, perhaps, Ed McMahon, is pretty much why Celebituary was invented. I mean, sure, we all felt the Michael Jakson death on some level, but, as I have said before, this blog is about giving another fifteen minutes to some of our best friends on their way out the door. And, unlike Michael, Lou Albano, really could use that last fifteen, methinks.

See, I was way into 'rasslin growing up. I watched it every Saturday. An on occasion, I had the honor of going with my dad to the old Municipal Auditorium in Pensacola, FL. I had the honor of seeing a young Hulk Hogan, at the time known as "The Hulk" battle Andre the Giant. And Hogan was the bad guy.

Lou Albano was "New York wrestling," and that wrestling was much better than most of what we got on the Panhandle. No offense to Ron Fuller, Bullet Bob Armstrong, or even Austin Idol.

Here's the thing about Captain Lou. First of all, his schtick was unmatched, save for perhaps George "The Animal" Steele. Frankly, I never liked the whole Cyndi Lauper thing. He shows up in that video as her dad, and I'm thinking "well, that's an endearing role, but Captain Lou is a bad guy, not a good guy,...so WTF?"

Well, I got over it, and as we all know, that video launched Lou into a brief period of national celebrity. I think you know you've made it when you are the center square, even if you have to share it.

This is kind of fun from a pop culture standpoint. What do you get when you combine Captain Lou, Mario, and hip hop? This.

And, the captain parlayed his Mario celebrity into a memorable PSA against doing drugs, which is a bit laughable given his Coke-fueled rants of years gone by.

Ok. Enough. Let's close this one out with a sweet song. It's remarkable. Detached from the body, he sounds a bit like Jimmy Durante.

Mary Travers

Hey, I finally have something in common with Mary Travers – we’re both late. (I know, it’s not funny. Especially this one.)

Lots of people die, even famous ones – it’s part of life, and death. But something about Mary Travers’ passing really hitting me hard. I don’t know, maybe because while she was an internationally know, Grammy-winning artist, she was not a superstar in the unapproachable-traveling-with-entourage kind of way. She was a regular person, living a few miles from me and my family – the kind of local celebrity you’d see from time to time…hey isn’t that?

As a kid, my wife Jill had the honor of hearing Travers speak her name. My wife was a volunteer at the Ives Center in Danbury where Travers was performing. At the end of the performance, she read the list of volunteers’ names. It’s not quite the thrill of Bill Clinton citing you as inspirationfor a trip to North Korea, but in everyday life, it’s something.

Of course this personal connection to Travers pales in comparison to her musical accomplishments – 1/3 the seminal folk group Peter, Paul and Mary. But that’s what we keep of people after they’ve left us; the impact they’ve made on us personally.

I must have worn the grooves off my mother’s copy of Puff the Magic Dragon as a child listening to it over and over. And that’s without knowing the alleged drug reference, which I’ve just learned was never really about drugs anyway. The song and Burgess Meredith voiced-over movie taught me more about honesty, self-confidence and innocence than any piece of pop culture should be expected to.

I hope Mary is in Honalee.

Patrick Swayze

Finally.

Look, I didn't mean that the way it came out, but this one is truly overdue on so many levels. OK, well...two levels.

#1) In case you haven't noticed, things have been rather quiet in celebituary land the last two weeks and I was waiting...hoping for a big name to end the um...moratorium on celebrity deaths. Sure, I could have caved and done the world's oldest woman. And, I had a nice little thought about Jack Kramer, what with the US Open going on. But, I was really holding out for someone big to pass.

#2) That someone, Patrick Swayze, has been on the near death list for a long time. He and Farrah Fawcett were essentially the King and Queen of the death prom, and..well...he kind of stood her up, if you ask me.

I usually find out these things from a friend, and I betcha anything my inbox will fill up in the time that it takes me to write this entry. This time, I got the news from my arch nemesis, the precious Obit magazine who has the same business model as me, except they have a staff, and probably nice offices. I bet they were sweating this prolonged lull out. Frankly, I was OK with it -- it was a nice break. But, now it's back to school, and I really can't think of a better way to head into the fall than celebrating the life of St. Patrick.

I have a few Patrick Swayze memories, but the one I'd like to document is actually quite fresh. It was winter break this past year. My abnormally large family and I were stuck in a hotel in Portland, Maine during one of the bigger snow days -- only it seemed even bigger in Maine. It would have made for the perfect Stephen King novel, but the Embassy Suites didn't really offer that vibe at all. Amazing free breakfast buffet, though. Highly recommended.

So, we're pretty much snowed in and Ghost comes on the TV. And this was after the news had broken about Mr. Swayze's illness. So, I'm sitting there watching this movie about a dead man, and explaining to my kids (who are a little young to appreciate irony) that in real life this actor is going to die soon. What I didn't know until just looking it up this evening is that "Willie Lopez" (actor Rick Aviles) has been deceased now for almost fifteen years. Alas, actor Tony Goldwyn, most recently of "Criminal Intent" fame is still with us. I wonder if he has made the "last man standing" connection like I have? Probably.

I'm not going to go into the whole Dirty Dancing thing. I'm just not. But, since the theme has suddenly become dead co-stars of Patrick Swayze, I stumbled upon this vintage link of a SNL skit with Swayze and Chris Farley. The hair is simply awesome. Hard to believe it was the nineties and not the eighties.

I couldn't find any deceased co-stars from the movie, "The Outsiders," but damn, what a movie, what a cast! I swear to God, in my attic, I have that movie on a beta tape and I refuse to get rid of it.

While we are all caught up in Patrick's acting prowess, I won't let any of you out of here until you enjoy the vocal talents of Mr. Swayze as captured in the timeless 80's classic "She's Like the Wind."

What else? Sure, there were the gay rumors. I mean, come one, he DANCED for God Sakes! And then he goes and plays a Drag Queen? Gay. Case closed. But, perhaps his wife and co-author Lisa might beg to differ. I don't think he was gay, but what's up with the no children?

DJ AM

[not that I need to explain myself...EVER, but I decided to honor the passing of DJ AM in a manner more consistent with what you might expect from a fellow DJ]

Disc jockey DJ AM dies
Disc jockey DJ AM dies
Disc jockey DJ AM dies
Disc jockey DJ AM dies

Terri Schiavo's Dad Dies
World's Oldest Dog Dies
Terri Schiavo's Dad Dies
World's Oldest Dog Dies

Disc jockey DJ AM dies
Disc jockey DJ AM dies
Disc jockey DJ AM dies
Disc jockey DJ AM dies

Korean Actress Dies
Bunnymen Keyboardist Dies
Korean Actress Dies
Bunnymen Keyboardist Dies

Bunnymen Keyboardist Dies
Bunnymen Drummer Dies

Travis Barker Lives

Teddy Kennedy

This one reminds me of the recent "Uncle Walter" death, where the big papers had already written and spit-shined the man's obituary months back. And with good reason. If you recall last spring and last fall, I doubt many of us thought the youngest Kennedy would be with us for even this long. But, we put it out of our mind, and kind of moved on. Maybe he would beat the cancer after all, serve another ten years, and break the record. But, no, he didn't. As they say, death and taxes (a topic Mr. Kennedy certainly knew a thing or two about) are inevitable.

I was lamenting the fact that I had to work tonight on the Teddy Kennedy obit, and my oldest daughter, Cameron asked "Who's he? Did he work for you?" And I suppose he sort of did.

I grew up in a lower middle class Democratic household, and was well versed in the obvious distinctions between Democrats and Republicans. The Democratic Party was the working class party that fights for the little guy and the Republican Party was the "money" party. And it's as simple as that. So, yeah, Ted Kennedy spent his whole career working for me.

My Irish mother was about as working class as it gets, and a big fan of the Kennedys. But, even she admitted that young Teddy was "damaged goods." It was the whole Chappaquiddick thing. I went so far as to write a report about it in high school. It all went down in 1969, and rather than write about the moon landing or Woodstock, I chose Chappaquiddick. I suppose I have always been a tad perverse. I have an extremely visceral memory of pouring through reel after reel of microfishe, reading authentic articles from the time. Damn, I wish I still had that paper.

I distinctly remember an old SNL skit, where the 1980 candidates were all doing domestic chores in an Iowa home. One of the big punchlines came when Teddy, played by Bill Murray, offered to drive the daughter home. You want longevity? How's this. TK was impersonated by FIVE different SNL actors over the years, starting with Murray and most recently Will Ferrell. That might be a record. But think about it. Who else has been in the public eye for that many years? Queen Elizabeth, for one. But she isn't tragically funny like our dearly departed Massachusetts senator.

What more is there to know about a man whose life was so well documented? (Beautiful piece by the globe, I mean...hats off!) I found a neato interactive map of his relationships and interrelationships. Speaking of interrelationships, he once was one third of a sandwich with Chris Dodd and a DC-area waitress. His first wife, Joan, is a notorious alcoholic and DUI collector. He was expelled from Harvard for cheating on a Spanish test. He rather famously couldn't answer the Roger Mudd question, "Why do you want to be president?" But there's a lot of good too. He had a wonderful working relationship with Utah Republican senator and songwriter Orrin Hatch. He was a noted sailor up on the Cape. He loved dogs and in fact, his dog "wrote" a book.

Oh, and one final related thought on the "Singing Senator." My old friend, Glenn White, observed on Facebook today "The Dead Kennedys announce a new band member." Ok, a little twisted, but hey, why not take this moment and reflect on perhaps one of the best band names of all time?

Bob Novak

You never know. Bob Novak might kick-start a late summer celebrity death parade the same way that Ed McMahon really shook up the cosmic karma two months back. Only time will tell.

Good ole' Bob Novak. He was one of many "talking heads" that I grew up with. And, I have to say, for me, he is most remembered as the guy who replaced Pat Buchanon on Crossfire. I was a huge Crossfire fan as a teenager and I fondly remember watching it on the smallish television in the living room, which replaced the humongous "furniture" TV in the living room. For a person who truly revels in shades of gray, Crossfire was testament to the fact that nobody was necessarily right (pun intended) or wrong. It was just a matter of how you saw things.

And, before I go any further, it's important for me to give pause and shine a little light on one Tom Braden, the left-leaning ying to Mssrs. Buchanon and Novak's yang. He passed on April 3, of this year, about two weeks before I started this blog. What is interesting about him -- apart from what I felt like was the penultimate alcoholic face -- is that he wrote the memoir that led to the famous seventies television series, Eight is Enough, staring Willie Ames, who most recently attempted suicide. Probably my favorite Eight is Enough is the melodramatic Christmas two-part episode where Tommy, played by Mr. Ames, receives a gift from the grave, from his deceased mother. As I child, I was touched by this.

Oh my, where did I go? Only I can go from Bob Novak to an mid-seventies Christmas special. While we remain in tangential land, the most endearing episode of Crossfire that receives the most hits on the InterWeb is the one that featured Frank Zappa, discussing censorship. A free Celebituary T-Shirt to whoever can name the song that they are discussing at the onset of the show.

But, I think it would be unfair to hi-jack Mr. Novak's final goodbye what with talk of Willie Ames and Frank Zappa. Just before he was diagnosed with the tumor, he hit a pedestrian with his Corvette. In retrospect, it was probably due to the tumor.

Here's a nice moment from the past, where he gets frustrated with a co-host and calls him an asshole.

Other moments. Mr. Novak, you might remember was at the center of the whole "Plame Game" blown cover hoopla that transpired three years ago. He was criticized as an "unpatriotic conservative" for his anti-Iraq war stance. Sounds like Bobby probably took the right stance, after all.

A parting shot? Watch here as Mr. Novak walk off, stage right (natch) to the sound of The Clash. Isn't the Internet something?