Peter Steele V. Guru

It's actually a rare occasion when stars from "my generation" pass prematurely. There has been a lag since the last double -- and frankly this was almost a triple with that Athiest dude who flipped over to God at the very end.

But I had to do my own Run DMC / Aerosmith thing, only much darker. Let's start with Peter Steele from Type O Negative.

I had an extremely visceral experience shopping tor CDs back in the mid nineties. This was just when they were starting to put out "listening stations." I remember I spent a good 15 minutes with the Type O CD -- it had all the right ingredients:  dark lyrics, compelling cover art. For me, being able to listen to the music in advance sort of ruined the mysterious "advance" nature of buying an album unheard based on how it looks and makes you feel. I picked up "Felt" as a cassette no less -- and as an import -- and I just knew I would love it -- still do. But Type O? Not-so-much.

I passed on Type O that day, and never really followed them after that. The album was "Bloody Kisses," and I kind of want it now, but I went and bought the greatest hits like a weenie. On the day I heard I created a Type O channel on Pandora and enjoyed it very much. So, now I am excited about exploring the work of Type O and seeing how much it can be a part of my life. We'll see.

Guru, on the other hand. Well that's an entirely different music shopping story. Guru was primarily with the group "Gang Star," sort of a "rapper's rapper" troupe that always had much love and respect from the east coast community. The critics love these guys -- they were the biggest rap act you never heard of for a time there.

And you know how it came to me? Darn record clubs -- so how do you like that? I was trying to oblige my monthly purchase and saw something that puffed up the talents and skills of these "underground east coast" rappers.

So I said "What the heck? Why not?" I like progressive rap, so certainly if there is band that is pushing the limits of the hip hop format -- I will always give them a little time, Such was the case with Guru and Gang Star -- they came to me in cardboard. There was something nice about that -- how archaic and how inaccessible. But I think we all like opening things and discovering them -- for me, it's not so much at retail.

I know there's a lesson in there somewhere. Something about delayed gratification, I think. Either that, or the existence of God. One of the two.

Lech Kaczynski and Meinhardt Raabe

I really can't make this stuff up, people. I have been listening to Polish Death Metal a fair bit lately. Bands like Vader and Decapitated, oh and Lux Oculta. For those who don't know, Polish Metal artists are known for a highly technical style, which borders on the impossible.

Lech Kaczynski was born June 18, 1949, and he and his brother achieved fame as child actors in a hit 1962 movie, "Those Two Who Would Steal the Moon," about troublemaking twins who try to get rich by stealing the moon and selling it.

That, I also could not have made up. I have not seen this movie, but I certainly will check to see if I can add it to my Netflix queue.

For a blog that is about celebrity death and laced with irony, the death of Meinhardt Raabe is bittersweet.

Yes, Yes, he was played the coroner, and yes, yes, he was the last remaining member of the cast with a "speaking" role.

But, why did his death have to occur on the same day as the President of Poland? Meinhardt certainly deserves better, but what can you do? I actually am growing quite fond of the "two-fer" format and I believe it adds a whole new level of 'meta' to the equation. So, if you are going to be upstaged, my Munchkin friend, please know that it is in the name of moving the product forward.

I just wish I had the energy for Dixie Carter....

Malcom Mclaren

Not often that I bang out two Celebituaries in a day, at least lately, and truth be told, I really don't have the time. I have three deadlines and taxes to finish up, no less. So what the hell, Charles? What the hell?

But Malcom Mclaren certainly deserves this. When you launch the Sex Pistols and had such an influence on music and fashion, shouldn't you get a same-day obit?

OK, so I have justified the need. But what does Malcom mean to me? It's funny. I missed the whole first wave of punk. I was 6 and just a tad too young to be down with the program. So all of the Pistols' shenanigans were missed by me. I certainly got around to it and found their limited canon very compelling, indeed. I remember this punk rock girl, Lilly, who I met at Junior Achievement in 10th grade and she turned me on to the whole scene. So that's pretty much that for the Sex Pistols.

Here's the thing with me and Malcom.

I used to spend summers in Kingston, New York at my grandmother's home. And, I remember the summer of '82 being a time for me when I was just getting into music. One day, while switching channels, I caught the last manic 30 seconds or so of "Buffalo Gals" by Mclaren. I was blown away. There seem to be a few songs from that time, "Genius of Love" and "Rapture" were a couple others that were all about white people wrapping their heads around early rap music. So, this song is a bizarre Square Dancing urban thing -- and for me, it just worked. I still play it when DJing -- and it's just a lot of fun.

So, for me, while I can appreciate the Sex Pistols -- very much so -- I am all about the Buffalo Gals. Thank you so much, Malcom. "All that scratchin' is making me itch."

Christopher Cazenove

This was just too good to pass up. Christopher Cazenove played Ben Carrington in the sixth season of Dynasty. Frankly, I had no idea the show lasted that long. In fact, it carried on another three seasons even after Ben Carrington! Here's the skinny on Ben Carrington straight from Wikipedia -- formatting and all:

Alexis Colby finds Blake's vengeful brother Ben in Australia, and brings him back to cause trouble for her ex-husband. Blake blames Ben for their mother's death; Ben was supposed to be caring for her, but instead left her alone. Ben and Alexis manage to bring Blake to his knees before Blake turns the tables on them; Ben eventually reconciles with Blake, and with his estranged daughter Leslie. It is also revealed that Ben had an affair with Emily Fallmont, and that Clay Fallmont may be his son. This is never proven for sure, and Ben ultimately leaves town.

So, this is classic "life imitating art imitating life," stuff. I think I have already said my peace about Dynasty. For those that follow this kind of stuff, the Death Watch stock on people like Joan Collins is through the roof.

I know I have said this before, but it's guys like Chris that really make Celebituary what it is. I'm not sure what that something is, but no doubt Blake and Ben Carrington are putting together a deal to blow this blog up big time, what with all their international business goings-on.

John Forsythe

You know what? I had been waiting for this. After Robert Culp, I was really in the mood to bang out a celebituary, but nothing came through. I could list all the famous or semi-famous people out there who passed in the last week. David Mills, Kendall Berry, Dan Duncan. There are many more.

John Forsythe is a celebrity, however. For God's Sakes, we're talking about Blake Carrington!

I was a big Dynasty fan. I think it was on Wednesday night. I'm sure I could look it up and find out for sure, but just play along with me. 

Blake Carrington was the man. One of the first "man" I ever knew. Maybe it was the two MILFs hanging around him in the publicity picture. Maybe it was the well established fact that Blake owned everything. I just know that he was a big deal, and I respected that.

So, while I have your attention, I should tell you my long term plans for this blog. I truly believe that this evening little boys and little girls all over America should be watching back-to-back-to-back Dynasty episodes. As soon as one of htese celebrities kicks it, there needs to be a pace you can go and relish the career that was. Not just a 30 second time filler. Y'all should receive a master class in John Forsythe. Or, you should at least have the opportunity to do so. 

So, that is the vision, and to a degree it is coming true. Hold on. Lemme go get a Dynasty link.

 Oh, here's one. The ever-popular "Blake rapes Krystal" scene. I can't make this shit up.