To all my fans out there. I have let you down. To all the people who followed me, who counted on me for a little levity, yet honest-to-goodness respect for the deceased (with a few awkward exceptions), I'm really sad.
I'm sad that I have let you down. I am sad that I became part of your perspective on the dearly departed.OK, here is the God's Honest Truth. I started the blog while business was...um...bad. They were dark days no doubt. And dark days give way to gallows humor. Indeed.
So business has been good for Marrelli Enterprises, INC. And you should all be happy for me, although I work long hours for my multiple commitments.
If any my associates are reading this and wondering why you're not getting that PowerPoint deck, or populating your spreadsheet, or working on your copy, or building that web site, feel good about my commitment. Because, naturally, I wouldn't take such an indulgence on your dime.
And, thus, far less Celebituary.
But, folks, the world needs Celebituary, so indeed I have a higher calling every now and then.
Charles, put on your dark makeup. The show must go on.
So, Mr. Haig, one of the few people who I can associate in my formative mind as "president." I certainly do. He stood up there and pretty much told me so. And, for the most part, I was down with the program. I vaguely recall stories of Sandinistas and knowing they had overthrown their government and whatnot, so the idea of waking up one day with a brand new president was, if nothing else interesting. So, I was all ears.
Funny story. The day Reagan got shot... it happened at school. The hallways were abuzz, and there was a small black and white TV, and you were all crowded around and you couldn't see a GD thing. I'm not making this shit up. So I was always the kind of kid who preferred the back of the class. It was always the best seat in the house to be able to spectate on all the various goings on. Sort of center fielder, if you will.
So, I can't see shit, and can barely hear shit, and the whole thing was a piss poor AV production, but whatever.
I turn to my friend, and I'm like
"Maybe it was the same guy who shot JR?"
And this young black substitute teacher looked at me in a sort of "I can't believe you said that but I personally think it's really funny" sort of way. I think she even put her hands on her hips. And I definitely got some head shakin.' She liked my wit. My read on the situation. My subtle detachment.
Alexander Haig. Here. The word on the street is that you invented the word "epistemologicallywise." From one orator to another, nice work. That particular phrase deals in matters like "How do we know what we know?" Far too profound for a center fielder like me. Just back here catching fly balls.
You're Out.
Now back to work.
